The Engineer's Hymn

(Sung to the tune of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic")

Chorus:
We are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum and come along with us,
for we don't give a damn for any damn one who don't give a damn for us.

Godiva was a lady who through the Coventry did ride,
to show all the villagers her pretty bare white hide.
The most observant man, an Engineer, of course,
was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.

Chorus

An artsie and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the artsie, match me drink for drink and prove that you're a man.
They drank three drinks, the artsie died, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline."

Chorus

Now Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's as naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were broke, an Engineer discoursed,
"Of course, the damn thing's broken, it should be reinforced."

Chorus

Elvis was a legend, he's the King of Rock 'n' Roll,
But the life he was leading - well, it finally took it's toll.
He realized too late, he'd chosen the wrong career.
So he faked his death and came to school, now he's an Engineer!

Chorus

The modern Engineer must be politically correct.
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect.
No electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair.
Instead of problem solving, let's just sit around and care.

Chorus

She said, "I've come a long, long way and I will go as far,
With the man who takes me off this horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her off her steed and stood her to a beer,
were a blurry-eyed surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

Chorus

A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park.
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe.
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves.

Chorus

When it comes to math and science, Engineers-- we kick ass.
There isn't a course or subject Engineers cannot pass.
If presented with a problem we can solve it with great ease.
All we do is reach into our bag and pull out our HP's

Chorus

The Army and the Navy were out to have some fun.
Looking for a tavern where the fiery liquids run.
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon jugs of rum.

Chorus

My mother peddles opium, my father's on the dole.
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they won't even speak to me 'cause I'm an Engineer!

Chorus

Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
and like all jolly people we can down our whiskey clear.
We drink to every other sport who comes from far and near,
Cause we know damn sure that we are all a hell of an Engineer!